Antoaneta

My life is so simple
I fall in love every day
and you happen to be the one
who stole my heart.
You are like a butterfly
so beautiful and fragile.
You belong to the flowers
and they belong to you.
You may be an allergy
but why should you care
for you are not here to please all.
Shakespeare would have already written sonnets on you,
If he is alive today.

Butterflies and flowers may go soon
and the forest will be frozen,
the birds will stop their songs
and the valley will be silent
but you will always light my heart.
For you are the only butterfly,
who can survive the storm
with your Bulgarian smile.

LONDON

LONDON

You stole my Kohinoor
Killed thousands of my leaders
Tortured millions of my people
And still, you ignore my struggles
After what you have gained from us.

But, London! London!
You are still the apple of my eyes
I have read Great Expectations
And I know what will happen when
You accept me as your friend.

But, London! London!
Allow me to be a beggar in your bosom
And let my people think I am rich
Because, London, you are one city
Where everyone wants to dwell.

Image courtesy: London City (Facebook page)

LET’S TALK ABOUT HEARTBREAKS

A half a decade ago, I jumped into a relationship which I knew clearly that it won’t work out well. But, I keep pressuring myself thinking that it might work out someday. For almost six years I was after a lady whom I love to the moon and back. As I grew mature the pressure gets higher and the attachment gets stronger. I wanted to walk out from the relationship as it was not healthy for me and for her too. Six years of off and on types of relationship, in fact, I was never her boyfriend. It was a one-sided love.
One day, she called up and that changed everything. We decided to stay away from each other, and I took it seriously.

I was so proud that I’d moved on but a few months later she occupied my mind all over again. Every day she keeps coming into my mind even though I knew so well that she’d moved on without me.

Heartbreak is real, it happens to everyone in a different form, and it is very important to know how to handle it. It’s a very sensitive and time-consuming process. It took me almost one year to completely heal.

I was more like into depression. I thought of calling her on the phone and decided to start all over again. But, my heart never agreed, though I love her. I think true love is letting them be who they want to be and not what we want them to be.

I called up my best friends and mentors for help, most of them consider it as a piece of cake. They show less interest in it. But there are some few people who were with me during my transitional period and I am forever grateful to them. Without them, I might not be able to heal myself and to love myself.

Through the heartbreak and the wrong relationship, I have learned to love myself and discover God’s amazing love. I started to read more books and listen to inspirational messages. I started to seek God more often in order to find peace and love. I am so proud of myself that I have received a double portion of blessings. I discovered His amazing love and finally wrote a book which was my childhood dream.

Tips to move on without hating the person.

1- NEVER BLAME YOURSELF: Remember they left you because they don’t need you anymore. Just take it as an opportunity that you deserve better and they deserve better too.
2- FORGIVE THEM: You will never find peace if you keep hating the person. You might be angry about what they have done to you, and it’s absolutely okay to be angry but don’t let that anger turns into hate.
3- NEVER FORGET: It doesn’t mean we keep remembering them always and keep hurting ourselves. We must not forget that they left us. Try to find a strong point of why you should never go back, it may be their character, their manners or behaviors which you don’t like, take their weakness as your strength to move on.
4- NEVER GOSSIP: Don’t become cheap human by gossiping about your ex. It won’t help you to move on. You will be more hurt when you gossip about the person.
5- FIND A HOBBY OR GET A JOB: This will help you forget your past. I started writing and eventually, it turns out to be a book (True Love Keeps Moving). My mind was more into writing which keeps me moving.
6- BE SENSITIVE AND VULNERABLE: If you want to heal, you have to share your pain and accept the fact of what had happened. Find someone whom you can share comfortably.
7- DON’T BE AFRAID TO LOVE AGAIN: It’s we humans that ruin the relationship and not love. Love is amazing.
8- INVOLVE GOD IN THE PROCESS: You might move on without God but your heart will never be completely healed without Him. You will discover His amazing love and grace during the transition and in the process. God still heals people.

No more tears. Only laughter and happiness.

“They went out from us, but they did not really belong to us. For if they had belonged to us, they would have remained with us; but their going showed that none of them belonged to us.” – 1 John 2:19

LET LIFE LIVE

As I stood at the cliff of Kapamodzu
With tears in my eyes and anger in my heart
I scanned the scary destination below
There sits a beautiful village
That produces the best cabbage in the world
And I was about to ruin the beautiful land
I said my goodbye to the world
But, the sun wanting me to stay a little longer
So, I turned around
Her warm and soft light touches my soul
She must be telling me
That I must see her in the morning too.
She gave her best and left
Unlike Judas with a fake kiss
The moon appeared from the east
Announcing to the universe
‘It is finished.’
I went home and I pledged
Never to destroy His wonderful
Creation in this life or next.

Sailor And His Love

She hates the airport as much
As I hate my migraines.
We said our goodbyes
In tears and laughter.

Before I sailed to the Caribbean
We face timed each other
She seems strong and happy
Wishing me all the happiness.

Yesterday, she messages me
‘Our 5th anniversary will be in three months,
Come home soon.’
I couldn’t reply to her;
I’ve just extended my contract.
I missed our big day.

“Am I a widow or your wife?
I am tired of being alone.
I need you by my side
My bed is cold and our flowers are dying too
I am getting old; I want a baby.”
She posted on my timeline.

Today, I have a car; a villa
Enough food for a decade,
and land that produces fruits and wine.
But I am lonely and cold.
I left when she needed me most,
So does she, when I needed her most.

NATIONALIST

I was kidnapped from my office
By my own freedom fighter
He tied my hands and legs
Whistling from the barrel of the gun
‘Will blow your head and let your
Children suffer forever.’
I looked at him in sympathy
‘My four-year-old kid can
take care of himself
Unlike you.
You lose, either way’, I replied.
He threw his fist on the wall.

This morning, twenty thirty
As I drove my car way home
I saw that gentleman
Smiling and enjoying his life
Selling momos in the street of Kohima.
I parked my car beside his cart
We shared a small plate of momo
Laughing and talking about old memories.

I AM WHO I AM

I met an old poor beggar
In the dusty street
We shared a cup of tea
And talk about life.
‘I am the hope.’ He said.
I raise my eyebrow in confusion
How can a beggar be the hope
When he can’t afford a meal a day?
Then he continues
‘I am the grace
I am the love
I am the truth
I am the way
I am the life.’
I literally throw out the tea
From my mouth.
I started to laugh.
‘I am Who I am.’
And he disappeared.
I went home with
The vibration of the sound,
“I AM WHO I AM.”
And He is the one
I just laughed at.

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