A half a decade ago, I jumped into a relationship which I knew clearly that it won’t work out well. But, I keep pressuring myself thinking that it might work out someday. For almost six years I was after a lady whom I love to the moon and back. As I grew mature the pressure gets higher and the attachment gets stronger. I wanted to walk out from the relationship as it was not healthy for me and for her too. Six years of off and on types of relationship, in fact, I was never her boyfriend. It was a one-sided love.
One day, she called up and that changed everything. We decided to stay away from each other, and I took it seriously.
I was so proud that I’d moved on but a few months later she occupied my mind all over again. Every day she keeps coming into my mind even though I knew so well that she’d moved on without me.
Heartbreak is real, it happens to everyone in a different form, and it is very important to know how to handle it. It’s a very sensitive and time-consuming process. It took me almost one year to completely heal.
I was more like into depression. I thought of calling her on the phone and decided to start all over again. But, my heart never agreed, though I love her. I think true love is letting them be who they want to be and not what we want them to be.
I called up my best friends and mentors for help, most of them consider it as a piece of cake. They show less interest in it. But there are some few people who were with me during my transitional period and I am forever grateful to them. Without them, I might not be able to heal myself and to love myself.
Through the heartbreak and the wrong relationship, I have learned to love myself and discover God’s amazing love. I started to read more books and listen to inspirational messages. I started to seek God more often in order to find peace and love. I am so proud of myself that I have received a double portion of blessings. I discovered His amazing love and finally wrote a book which was my childhood dream.
Tips to move on without hating the person.
1- NEVER BLAME YOURSELF: Remember they left you because they don’t need you anymore. Just take it as an opportunity that you deserve better and they deserve better too.
2- FORGIVE THEM: You will never find peace if you keep hating the person. You might be angry about what they have done to you, and it’s absolutely okay to be angry but don’t let that anger turns into hate.
3- NEVER FORGET: It doesn’t mean we keep remembering them always and keep hurting ourselves. We must not forget that they left us. Try to find a strong point of why you should never go back, it may be their character, their manners or behaviors which you don’t like, take their weakness as your strength to move on.
4- NEVER GOSSIP: Don’t become cheap human by gossiping about your ex. It won’t help you to move on. You will be more hurt when you gossip about the person.
5- FIND A HOBBY OR GET A JOB: This will help you forget your past. I started writing and eventually, it turns out to be a book (True Love Keeps Moving). My mind was more into writing which keeps me moving.
6- BE SENSITIVE AND VULNERABLE: If you want to heal, you have to share your pain and accept the fact of what had happened. Find someone whom you can share comfortably.
7- DON’T BE AFRAID TO LOVE AGAIN: It’s we humans that ruin the relationship and not love. Love is amazing.
8- INVOLVE GOD IN THE PROCESS: You might move on without God but your heart will never be completely healed without Him. You will discover His amazing love and grace during the transition and in the process. God still heals people.
No more tears. Only laughter and happiness.
“They went out from us, but they did not really belong to us. For if they had belonged to us, they would have remained with us; but their going showed that none of them belonged to us.” – 1 John 2:19